sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
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