well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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