Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Non-Jews are for practice
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
