your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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