he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
