I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How does one acquire holy water?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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