Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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