he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
