JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize