he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
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