I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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