Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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