the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
there was a trapeze. enough said
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
