Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Randomize
