I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
