he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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