Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Come see our sink grown plant.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
