i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize