just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize