You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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