I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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