Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
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