How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Alive.
So much puke
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
