i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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