gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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