mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
