my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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