My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
