My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
