would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
