you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
