real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
