All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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