Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
