Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize