he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
do nipples grow back?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
