dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
