i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
How external is "for external use only"?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
