Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
