): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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