Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
