I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
