I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I can tuck mytits in my pants
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Randomize