girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
