butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
