He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
