He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
