that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
