It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize