I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
As shirtless as possible
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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