I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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