Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
