You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
