When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We need to get me chipped asap
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
