I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
