I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
