fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
