Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
