Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize