so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
