forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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