just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
