After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
NoShamevember. You game?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
