just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You took a bar mat shot.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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