WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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