A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize