i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
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