In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
