I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
