did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
