I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
