Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
